Parent-Child Reversal - President Ryuho Okawa's Guideline of the Heart 166 -

Sept. 20, 2018（Last Update: June 13, 2026）

This month's guideline of the heart is themed around the "differences in individuality between parents and children," which is a source of concern for many parents. Even between parent and child, souls are separate. We asked Keiko Okuda from the Angel Plan V, an early childhood education institution of Happy Science, for tips on accepting this fact and enjoying the differences.

The "Guideline of the Heart," written by President Ryuho Okawa, is serialized in the Happy Science pamphlet Monthly "Happy Science". Posters are also displayed at branches nationwide, and it is widely known as the monthly face of Happy Science.

For those who want to read the guideline of the heart in the monthly magazine, please check the October issue of "Happy Science".

Even though they are parent and child, souls are separate.

In his book How to Nurture Individuality open_in_new, President Okawa teaches, "Even though they are parent and child, souls are separate, so children will not necessarily turn out as their parents wish. Just as sunflowers have their own qualities and morning glories have theirs, it is best to let the child's soul grow in the direction it naturally wants to grow."

However, as I have experienced myself, parents tend to expect that "my child should be like me." When they cannot accept their child who is different in disposition and talent, conflicts arise, and both parent and child continue to suffer.

At the early childhood classroom "Angel Plan V," which focuses on faith education, I answer mothers' concerns daily, and many are troubled with thoughts like, "I can't understand my child. Why are they different from me?"

Tips for Enjoying Differences

When I talk to such mothers, saying, "You love your child, don't you? That's why you want to understand them," many end up shedding tears.

Continuing to worry about "why are they different" will not yield answers. I have learned that accepting things as they are, saying, "Ah, they are different," leads to happiness for both parent and child. Therefore, I share from my own experience, "Just as you have your own strengths, your child has strengths that you do not possess. Let's discover and rejoice in that," and, "Both you and your child are a flower allowed to bloom in God's garden. The world is beautiful precisely because various flowers bloom," and, "It is because individuals with different personalities become family that we can learn from each other and grow."

Even though they are parent and child, it is impossible to understand everything about each other. That is why I believe the noble act of believing is born. "Do not lament the differences, but rejoice in the equality of Buddha nature." With this teaching as our principle, why not cherish your child's unique individuality and enjoy parenting?

This content is reprinted and edited from Monthly "Happy Science" No. 380.
The very popular "Guideline of the Heart" is also available for regular subscription, so please take advantage of it!

Learning about the "bond between parent and child" to understand my eldest daughter's individuality [Testimonial]
The brilliance of my daughter's individuality that helped me grow [Testimonial]